Little Fish to Lone Wolf
I started out, as many do in the South West of England, in hospitality jobs. Until a friend suggested I join the military. I found a role that interested me and it offered solutions to my problems and fulfilled all my dreams at the time.
I then spent 15 years in a job that I grew to hate. It made me depressed, sad, lonely and turned me into a person that I didn’t want to be. There were things like the “see one, do one, teach one” approach. Which, can work in some situations. But more often, this approach gets watered down over time, like the Whispers Game. Gradually the message is filtered, distorted and lost, and the end outcome is not as it was intended. The job lacked innovation and creativity, and on the inside – I was slowly fading away.
But I couldn’t leave because there was story I was telling myself to rationalise staying put.
Firstly, it might get better. If I could just make it to the next level of promotion, I would have more autonomy and could make change happen.
And secondly, I had financial responsibilities. I couldn’t just give everything up and lose that security.
I was conflicted. I was stuck. I was scared.
Until I started to discover my WHY more deeply.
And my WHY didn’t fit with this job.
And that was another A-ha – learning about the difference between a hobby, a job, a career and a vocation (thank you Liz Gilbert).
As I look back now, I often think I made this decision gradually over time. That is true. However, the final decision was actually made with haste. Once I knew I had to go, I was gone. And so began my endeavour to find a new job.
Yep!… I still didn’t get it. I was still looking for a job! Not a career or vocation. I was searching for a role that my current skills suited. And I was drawn to organisations with similar structures and routines and I went for interviews that didn’t excite me. The employers, when asked: What do you really love about working here? Would respond with rather lacklustre reasons. I didn’t belong there either.
So, what do you do when you can’t find a job that fits?
Give up? Go back to what you know?
No, you can decide to create your own.
And to do that, I had to find a career that I could not do. Yes you read that right. I had to start to stretch out of the comfort zone. I was anchored by my ability to coach and understand people. That I could do and very well. But I had no idea how to start a business, maintain it and grow it. This was all new to me after spending 15 years being told when to get up, what to wear and what to do on any given day.
I didn’t have a network or square squad of trusted allies. I didn’t have a reputation and or credibility – no one knew of me or what I could do for them. I was starting from the ground up again, and it was glorious!!!
At first, I believed this adventure of discovery was a lonely place because you don’t have other people to around bounce ideas, thrash possibilities and tell you things like, ‘You got this, I believe in you.’
Now I know, it doesn’t always have to be like that.
I value independence, of course. But I also understand the value of finding others in the same boat, to share our lived experience through our own endeavours.
When that happens, it all starts to fall into place.
And that is why I started my coaching business. To provide a safe and trusting space for learning, so that we can manage The Fear and boldly share our creativity with world.
Along the way, you will stumble and you will make mistakes. You will fail and you will hit The Dip. And our greatest learning from stories throughout our lives is – The Hero persists.
Just as the Hero is on the precipice of giving up… they get the second wind, find a new solution, they make a tough decision and commit to making it through that last 25% to get them to the other side.
And it is on the other side, where fulfilment lives.
If you are thinking, ‘But I’m not quite ready.’, then you are at a great starting point.
The time is right for you. Tell me more about where you want to go and what is getting in your way.