It’s that time of year, for a mid-year review. And so far I have learned there is always a first time for everything.
2020 will now be forever referred to as – The Year of the FFT.
For followers of Brené brown, you’ll know about FFTs. It means F’ing First Time and comes into effect when you experience something for the first time, realise it’s a first for you and accept you might not have all the knowledge, skills and courage to get through it. It’s an awkward and messy moment of learning.
I started the year with my moving my grandmother into my home because she has dementia and was not coping on her own. I also started my first business and attended my first Vision Board class. It still sits on my desk and as I look at it I realise, for the first time I actually set my intensions for the year.
In setting those intensions, I began a multitude of workshops so that I could hone my skills and continue the learning. Attending the first Akimbo Real Skills online conference. The first The Long and The Short Of It online Learning Lab. The first Akimbo Creatives Workshop, that lead to the first Akimbo Writing in Community and my first time on the Story Skills Workshop. All because I am writing my first novel. I was gaining so much knowledge and clarity that I felt the confidence to publish my first vlog on YouTube and gave my first podcast interview for the Quarantine Phone Calls series.
For the first time I really… really , appreciated my Mum for all she does and has done for us.
For the first time I had to really stop to consider thoughts, feelings and actions: Why do we do what we do?
We needed to change the way we shopped for food at the supermarket. We had to stay home and were unable to make choices that we wanted to make about where we went and what we did for fun. We did not get to see our friends and family or go to concerts. For the first time, we did not get to choose.
For the first time we are reading books about racism and watching documentaries. Stopping to hear the voices and listen to their story.
For the first time, we are considering whether we are spending our time and energy on purposeful and meaningful activities. And reconsidering our political and economic choices. Even though there does not appear to be much to choose from, it is a choice nonetheless. And now we are asking – might there be another way, one we don’t know of, one we have not yet considered?
First are tough… really F’ing tough. They are a first for a reason and they are there to remind you – you do not have it all figured out and things can be better. Because if things were already better, you would have done it already.
So, rather than wait for the firsts to find us, how might we actively seek them out? Go in search of something new, a thought, an idea, a feeling, a place or a person. And if you are feeling stuck, might it be you are skirting round a first, because you fear the vulnerability of looking and feeling awkward and uncomfortable.
Now it’s your turn…
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