Catching the Spiral

A strange day that got off to a good start… until I was disappointed by some news about an opportunity and I started the downward spiral of discontent, one that would normally cripple me for days… or even weeks.

This day though – I decided.  I decided to message a friend who might have some knowledge about the situation, and they did.  That said, I am still disappointed but at least I can logically rationalise about it.  And all is not lost, “There is another…”, and I have some alternatives to investigate.

It was very apparent as I was emailing said friend, I felt a pang of discomfort about having to ask for help and lower my status in the aftermath of a failure.  I felt an icky feeling in the pit of my stomach, demoralised, shameful and vulnerable.  But after my email and call with him, all that went away.  He was so understanding, kind and generous.  And now I don’t feel so bad. 

So I’m glad I didn’t reach for that half kilo of cheddar cheese when I felt low… because now it appears, that would have been a waste.

In the novel I am writing, my lead character Alphie does this, she reaches for a range of things to fill the voids and lives a life that intentionally lacks purpose, direction and responsibility. She washes her hands of it all and floats along without a care in the world. Then all that is taken from her, and she doesn’t like it. She’d happily do the absolute minimum required – but only on her terms.

Until it’s time for her to step up, and she gets to decide whether to take it…

Now it’s your turn to tell me… here

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