Altitude Sickness

I don’t think I’ve ever flown too high… 

Then I stopped and realised I needed to give myself some more credit.  

I joined the Royal Navy which at the time appeared completely out of character to everyone else around me.  I just thought it was a good way to earn a decent wage, make some friends and see the world – at least one of those things happened.  

Then I left to start my own business – again very out of character to everyone else around me.  I just thought it would be a good way to earn a decent wage, make some new friends and see the world – currently one of those things has already happened.  

And now I am writing a long form fiction novel for the first time. Firstly, because I can and second, it’s good for the credibility. It’s not going to make me millions by any stretch of the imagination, but it certainly has stretched me, my skills and my volition.

On reflection – I have never really failed so far, just got a little bit better each time. So maybe I am still on the upward climb.  

And I was reminded of when I was riding a bike when I was a kid.  Before my mum got around to taking the training wheels off, I got too big for the bike and never upgraded to a proper bike… so, I can’t ride a bike.  I did try when I was in my early 30’s and just about managed to get around the park because I didn’t like riding on the streets with other cars or anywhere too off road. The park was enough for me.

Then I came to realise, I haven’t been very good at finishing things. Or I stop when it gets too hard. I struggle to complete that last 25% and into the realms of success because I always seem to stop short.

That’s when all sorts of questions start…

What if I look stupid?

What if people copy me and do it better?

What if it makes me appear desperate?

What if…. what if… what if…????

Am I not flying higher out of fear, rejection, humiliation and shame?

Which made me consider – where’s the safety net?  What might that look like? How might that make it easier to fail and learn for next time?

And when I figure that out… the next thing might be:

Maybe it is time to take the training wheels off and start riding, falling off, getting back up and keep riding until I can do it without thinking.

Now it’s your turn to tell me… here

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