If you’re a Service Leaver, Veteran or Reservist who is adapting to life after the military, my weekly emails will help you.
Can you be all of who you are and still be successful? Am I able to be myself in the work I’m doing? How do I feel about that?
Were questions posed in a recent weekly discussion group. First we thought it would a good start to define “success” and define “work”.
Thinking about Liz Gilbert and her definitions of hobby / job / career / vocation – you don’t always need to love your job. It can be to pay bills, so that you can do the work you love. Is this leading the way to reconciling the work you get to do with the work you have to do? And how might our expectations about ourselves be at play? Are they too high or too low? Are we choosing to compromise ourselves, because it’s the path of least resistance? Because often, we can more easily put our needs aside, in the service of others and tell ourselves a story that it’s ok to do that because its generous.
When I got really clear and drilled down on my WHY, this was a massive leap for me and I am able to use this as a compass to determine the work I want to do and get to do.
So then, what about all we could be? What if we could be in a constant state of becoming ourselves? Always growing and learning. Is this possible? Or do we need a pay off or an end change consequence from time to time? The infinite game is good, but you still need some finite mile stones along the way to enable you to test and adjust course.
Or are we getting so caught up in becoming, that we forget who we are today? Jumping ahead to the next version or iteration of ourselves, instead of starting where we are and moving forward. And where are you putting your energy? For the busy fools and productivity addicts, how might you reframe your work to strive for more progress, not ticks on the check list?And by not embracing who you are now and where you are now, how might that be holding you back form where you want to be? Are you hiding from your true self because it’s scary and you fear success?
Because for the most part I have experienced an environment that didn’t foster trust or create safe spaces. As a result, it allowed fear to manifest and prevented me from “shipping” my thoughts, creativity and services out into the world.
I have low confidence and self-worth. Having always sought the permission of a superior and been on the receiving end of someone else’s sliding scale of appropriate pay and promotion prospects, I had very little control over my actions and would often censor my beliefs, fears, desires and values as a way of fitting in and not causing a fuss.
I suppose to an extent, I preferred / opted for the role of “follower” when there was a worthy cause and someone else was leading the charge. What I have only just figured out is, leading the charge does not have to be noisy or disruptive. This can be achieved from a place of calm and deliberate action. The kicker is, it still requires a butt load of vulnerability – and when that’s at stake, I now realise I do prefer to be at the pointy end and in more control, and bringing others along with me who feel the same and want more and to change things for the better.
Now it’s your turn to tell me…
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