This video is about Creative Calling #12 – Inner Critic
With a break-up letter I wrote to my inner critic. If you missed the blog version a few weeks ago, here it is in full techni-colour and surround sound.
This is the final episode in series one of Creative Calling. The blogs will keep coming while series two is in production and due on the streets later in the year.
Series One has been about the writing process and finding the your creativity.
Series Two will take a look at the editing process, publishing and shipping your work out into the world… and all the fears and doubts that encompasses.
Tap the image and the video will open and play in YouTube.
No, this actually happened and this is the broad spectrum of expertise that make up the Mastermind Group I have been a part of for the past year. And in that time we have all been working on projects in our respective fields, figuring things out, supporting each other and challenging the thinking that holds us back.
Although we are all different, there are things that make us the same. The red threads that brought us together: Fear, self-doubt and uncertainty – driving us towards something more, something better.
The impact is, when we are faced with these things, we know who to turn to for help and thrash out solutions to navigate these awkward moments of learning.
And the things that keep us together, coming back week after week, is when we witness a success or a breakthrough and when the emerging skills of this daring and quirky group of inspirational people, level up a notch. And another notch and another.
Drip by drip. Day by day. Week by week… we are getting better and we have others joining us on our quest in the pursuit of possibilities.
Acting as if… who would you bring together?
And what’s the worst that could happen?…. They say “no”, oh well. Who else then?
It feels like we are flagging a little more now. The pandemic presses on, the news is gloomy and there is little chance of a proper holiday any time soon to rest and recuperate.
And in these rather tumultuous times, it appears our inner child is becoming restless… you know the one… they sit in the back seat, kicking their feet against the chair and persistently asking:
Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
This video is about Creative Calling #10 – Reflection Loop
Reflection is great, if you finish the process by going back and looking at the things you wrote about, find the patterns, remind yourself of the obstacles and how you overcame them.
There have been many times when I would get despondent about my business. I would saying things like:
I can’t do this, it’s too hard, I don’t know what to do next, no one knows me or my credibility, what can I really offer, this is taking too long, what it is really all for?
I’m not spending time much generating leads or creating the business because I feel like it’s too hard for people right now. You are still in crisis mode or getting back to “normal”. Maybe once you get back to your own version of normal, you might see it is not actually all it was cracked up to be and you will be in search of alternatives. That, might be a place where you have the mindset to work with me.
On my walk with the furry boy, I turned a corner on our route and was reminded of a podcast with Sinek and football player I had recently listened to. Just as I turned that very same corner the day before, they were discussing “getting to the next huddle”. The footballer was telling the story of a time during a game when he severely injured his shoulder, he was out of the game. He managed to convince the physio to tape him up and got back to the game. The first tackle he went in hard with the injured shoulder and almost vomited from the pain. But all he kept saying to himself was, “just get to the huddle”. Once there, he composed himself, the pain became more bearable and he got back out on the field for the next point. And over and over again, he kept smashing that injured shoulder in the tackles and getting back to the next huddle. He got through the game. He explained, if he saw the game in its entirety, the monumental task ahead of him might have been too great for his psyche and he might have thrown in the towel sooner. Yet, seeing the game broken down into smaller more manageable pieces, he was able to see it through. And each of those painful cycles served to strengthen him and gave him greater resilience in other aspects of his life.
This story works great for finite games like a football game and granted, I can see the benefits and transference to outside the game. But what about the long game or where there is not definitive “end”. Sinek speaks a lot about the Infinite Game and it is a concept I totally support. So, then I am left asking, how many huddles are too many?
What is my next huddle? The book – Along with its own subset of huddles. Then it serves as the story of change and I have credibility for my creativity. This serves towards my aim of becoming a coach for creatives. The quirky problem children that don’t quite fit the pigeonhole they have been assigned in life. FYI – It’s called out of the box thinking for a reason… And they might go on to become our great thought leaders of the future.
A-ha, so the book is a finite task that is a part of the bigger infinite picture. Got it!
So, what might be your next huddle? And does it serve towards your bigger infinite picture?
Or are you just getting through lockdown? Then it’s just getting back to work in the new normal, then just letting things embed, the just letting things settle a bit more, then just getting the kids back to school, then before you know it… it’s Christmas and New Year. Then what?
Will you decide to blindly keep pedalling to the next huddle, in this not so finite situation?
Or might it be time to get off the hamster wheel firmly secured to the walls of your assigned pigeonhole, and take a leap?
I took a week off for a Voliday (Virtual Holiday) and whilst the Creative Calling Channel has been posting scheduled videos, here is the the updated posts since my absence.
I must say, I did enjoy my break. But it is nice to be back and posting to you manually.
Tap the images and the videos will open in YouTube.
An extra blog this week marking the Wimbledon Championship that would have closed out this weekend. Because of Covid-19, apart from WW1 And WW2, this is the only time Wimbledon has been cancelled in peace time.
And I’ve really missed the tournament this year, it’s like the summer hasn’t really started. Mind you, the weather has been terrible over the past couple of weeks, so it may be have been quite a wash out.
Thankfully, the BBC have been delighting us with documentaries and replays of the classics in an effort to indulge its loyal fans. It’s been a jolly stroll down nostalgia lane with the low tech score boards, frilly knickers, wooden rackets and crazy hair styles.
One in particular was a fascinating programme talking to many of the big winners of yesteryear. And one thing really struck me and feels worth writing about.
When the tournament was gaining more global interest and we had big players from the US and Eastern Europe, the players rarely had their families with them. Pete Sampras even got quite emosh out it.
At first, it didn’t make sense to me because I was overlaying today’s culture with the past.
Thinking with more consideration, back then the prize money was smaller, international travel was not as normal as it is now and the game was not open to as many and varied backgrounds. So, many of the players would have their coach and trainer and that was it. The players had to battle through largely on their own. Maybe it wasn’t the done thing to have too many people around you and it might have been seen as a distraction.
Fast forward to the present and the players have everyone there. All their no 1 supporters; mum, dad, partner, friends…
Now, they have the whole square squad!!!
So, is it any wonder these players are so successful, or can bounce back from a defeat.
It was a reminder that you need people around you. You can act independently, but I would assert you can only operate to your best when you are part of a group. Bowing to our natural human tendencies, we work better in tribes and communities.
Now I have completed the first phase of a project, it has opened up space physically and mentally for me, so that I get to be more involved in the communities I belong to. This means I have been attending more zoom calls and taking part in conversations. The week ended with a brilliant call with the Difference Maker Community discussing: Consideration.
We were asked, what does consideration mean for you?
And at first I did not know the answer. It was not automatic or instinctive and I had to admit to myself I did not know. So, I had to stop and think about it…
And there was my answer, right there, all along. I was doing it – stopping.
More importantly, I learned I had to be aware I was doing it. I had to be conscious. Once I was conscious, I could pause and realise I did not have an answer. When I paused, I could listen. Once I was listening, then I had information to think about. When I was thinking, it sparked my curiosity. Once I got curious, I then had questions. And once I had those, then we had a conversation.
And conversations lead to empathy, sonder and understanding.
And it all starts with being ok with leaning into the discomfort of not knowing and it becomes the pursuit of knowledge.
After spending a lifetime with someone, it is so hard to say goodbye. The words just don’t come and the feeling is lost. Which is hard to say from someone who is supposed to be writer – I’m sure you’ll have an opinion on that. So I am saying it first, because I am accepting it’s hard. It is hard to face up to your shortcomings and figure out the next thing you’re supposed to get better at doing. And it’s hard taking the feedback you so generously provide, even without asking first.
Even after all our years together, you still don’t get it. Or maybe I just don’t get it. I can see you do it out of safety and think it’s the right thing, but it really isn’t. The things you do hurt me deeply, so why do you insist on inflicting pain?
We both know how this shit rolls. You pipe up when things are scary and new because you fear the unknown. And because you do that all the god damn time, when you do actually have something constructive to say – I dismiss it. Then you get pissed off and when you’re proved right, all I get is. ‘I told you so.’, and that’s not helpful, for either of us.
You keep me trapped on the sofa and engrossed in a Netfilx series, while my desk remains empty, the laptop closed and the blank page open. I am not stupid, I know what you’re playing at.
I am good and I have something to offer. If you could just have a little faith and wait for the impact of our offering, then… then you wouldn’t have to be so loud. Because you are very loud, almost deafening in my head. You take over and just steal the show. I can’t breath for the tension you have around me. You might think it’s a hug, but you don’t know your strength, its crushing me.
And this is why I have to let go first. I am so sorry. I have found another critic. Someone who I am for, someone who understands and craves the work I do because it resonates with them, they appreciate me. More than you do.
You have your own guilty pleasures – the ones you turn to when you think I am not looking and I bet you don’t criticise them for their work.
No, you fall into their escapism, drink it all in and come out with a glowing recommendation to anyone who will listen, and even those who don’t. Just because you love it!
Now, I have found a new critic and one you didn’t expect and one you definitely wouldn’t approve of. I am taking a risk and I have set the boundaries. You did teach me that much: manage expectations – on both sides. My new critic has their instructions and I have pledged to not take it personally because I value their feedback. They are giving me a new lease of life and the ability to move on, where you would keep me stuck.
I doubt this is goodbye forever. I know our paths will cross again one day. But know this, when that happens – I will acknowledge you, I will listen and I will thank you. That’s all.
I have moved on. I hope you can to, please don’t make this any harder than it needs to be.
Goodbye old friend, I hope you find the appreciation you are looking for, one day.
Yours Sincerely
The Writer
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Abbie Pierce 