Evoenix:Edits

I am for…

The awkward lifelong learner approaching the intersection between fear and excitement.

And I love that about you, please tell me more.

Who are you for? And how might you help them?

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Another wonderful Adventure Campfire with a group of daring and inspirational women sharing stories about trips and travel.  We reminisced about starting something new or being somewhere different so that we can begin to get excited about starting something new in the future or keep going with a current project.

I love hearing these fascinating stories and learning about how others overcame a challenge or fear. 

Just a group of ladies chatting about life and sharing their stories. So that we can learn from each other, build our confidence and remember how brave we can be.

Because sometimes, the very thing we are avoiding… it the very thing we need to be doing. 

There’s a big difference for me between going it alone and being alone. And I am all for going it alone, I do it most days and I love it. Having all the autonomy and the only person I need to seek permission from is myself.

I also don’t like being alone. I need people around me for inspiration, challenge, energy and excitement. I need to see their success and failures and we learn from each other.

Whether it’s from behind a keyboard or in a far-flung corner of the world, you need to be able to say to someone, “Hey, remember that time when…”, and have a good laugh.

And remember how far you have come.

Where have you been and what did you learn? What did you do differently when you got home? How did it change you? How did it change the way you did something?

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Seeking imperfection.

Learning by doing.

Growing by failing.

Creating on purpose.

Sacrificing for others.

Choosing to change.

Managing the fear.

Practising the freedom of thinking differently.

Leading our World with integrity.

It’s all a work in progress…

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Often we run through things and thoughts in our heads and then seek out the opinion of trusted friend and allies who know and understand us.

And yep… They don’t get it.

“Why don’t they understand me?”, you might ask.

Well, let’s consider the facts. You have run through several scenarios and have the backstory in your head. You know what triggered your thinking and why it’s important. You see the World in your way from your POV.

This is context. This is the foundations of your thinking and it’s often overlooked because it comes so naturally. And often we assume everyone else shares that same context.

So, when you blurt out your big idea or radical thoughts to others, we tend to skip over this vital piece of the story.

Ok, diving in with a juicy nugget of info will get their attention, but it’s important to remember to circle back to the context with a quick overview of the highlights to bring them up to speed.

Then you can engage them with delight and wonderment.

Which then begs the question, what did you tell them for in the first place?

Do you need validation or permission? Are you seeking evaluation or praise?
Or how might you need more coaching feedback? Some challenging questions to get you thinking deeply about your plans.

It’s worth remembering that when you tell people stuff they will be compelled to offer a response. That’s communication 101.

So, it pays to be clear and upfront about why you are telling this person, this thing, at this time. State your intentions and what’s expected in return.

That way, it’s less frustrating for you and more inviting for them.

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How might you be out of your length, width and depth?

Chess had been around for aeons. The 6th Century according to Google.

Then 3D chess came along 13 centuries later.

It might take time, but, there’s always going to be a new and better way of doing things.

It doesn’t mean you have to radically change the game.

You can still do it for all the same and right reasons for you.

It’s merely beneficial for you to periodically consider, how might there be a different way?

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Tech and life hacks might have taken all the fun out of falling flat on your face.
And as leaders, we do it to our teams too.

Many, including me, have obliger tendencies and it’s in our wiring to help others and make things easier. No one likes to see others suffer. And yet, often it’s through that same suffering and sacrifice that helps us learn, grow and become stronger. So if we take away the hard part and keep things easy, how might we be challenged to become better?

One of my flaws as a leader in my previous existence in the military was that I failed to embrace the posture of being generously challenging. I’d opt to provide answers because that was easier and more efficient for me. There was a job to be done and targets to meet. There was no time for meandering down the scenic route.

On the other hand, I also encountered many leaders who just seemed to make things unnecessarily more difficult. That’s not where I am heading with this.

I am talking about signposting towards solutions, that would allow the learner to embark on their own voyage of discovery and insight. That way, the learning can stick and be easily recalled in the future. And that in itself is challenging. Bordering on excruciating. Watching on while someone grapples with a problem when you know you have the solution.

It saves time and energy in the short term to provide solutions for others. But, consider the long term effects of stepping in to save the day. You might be robbing someone of the autonomy and volition to think critically and for themselves. This means you will always have to be there to assist.

Now that might massage your ego for a time. But when you need the time and space for your own development, you might find you’re needed elsewhere.

How might you create more time and open up the space for learning at one’s own pace?

Remembering that tendencies are merely an inclination towards a particular character or behaviour. You can choose to lean in another direction.

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