When we make a decision – most of that process is irrational.
It comes from the gut or deep subconscious parts of our brain that struggle to find the words.
We decide – then come up with a logical and rational justification for that decision. A story we tell ourselves to satisfy the chimp inside our brains – and the chimps we assume are inside everyone else’s brains too.
It’s a very valid and worthy and logical story that everyone can understand and buy into.
What that story really is, is a place for you to hide and play it safe.
Hide from your work – whatever intrinsic or extrinsic form that may take for you.
YOU WANT MORE.
Mastery of your capabilities and of your destiny.
Autonomy to get your teeth into a really juicy project.
Ownership of your time and efforts.
To leave a lasting legacy.
Demonstration of your worth to its fullest. Not only to others, but to yourself too.
And by hiding behind rational stories, it allows you to operate guilt and regret-free. And never having to face public failure. Because hey, who’s going to criticise someone for getting a “proper job”, spending more time with family, and accepting the status quo.
I am not here to criticise the decision itself.
More of a desire to see more women in particular striving for more.
From a post in a group: “What is the main support needed for female veterans and why?“
This question pecks away at me daily and I struggle to find the words to pinpoint a root cause. And many of the comments, including my own, tend to lean towards confidence and worth.
Often feeling like an outsider, I didn’t leave for work/life balance because of family.
It was more a question of life!
I felt stagnant and constrained. Challenged for all the wrong reasons.
It’s why I went freelance… to feel the fear! But never really gripped it with both hands through lack of confidence.
However, through the power of networking – a skill practice daily, I’ve now landed contracts with organisations that offer me the autonomy of freelancing, whilst still being part of a team.
And I still don’t feel done. There’s a creative itch lingering.
It’s a challenging topic for military service leavers and our civilian allies. Many people do leave careers for family reasons. People steer towards jobs that suit other people’s expectations. And with everything so out and loud on social media now, many people are crippled by impostor syndrome and anxiety.
And with my curious head on, in certain situations, I would supportively challenge the logical reasoning because, for the right desired outcome – we always find a way to make things work.
And whilst the Service does place immense strain on families and personal wellbeing – it may be the final straw that got you to make those seven clicks, but I believe there’ll be a deeper cause that got you thinking about it in the first place.
Unconvinced that simply leaving the military will prove to be the scratch required, the next step is to look for a purpose that was unable to find its place while you were serving.
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Abbie Pierce 