Evoenix:Edits

Inspired by Stephen Gates

Stephen Gates is fast becoming another hero of mine and his Crazy One podcast is giving me plenty of food for thought.

Namely, he’s very explicit in stating too many stupid people are successful and this is because they feel no fear.

They want to do something and they go do it. 

There is no apparent shame or embarrassment. 

If they fail, they simply activate the classic shoulder shrug and move on.

No endless pouring over the why and wherefores. 

No Fear Other People’s Opinions.

No Fear Of Missed Opportunities.

No heartbreaking dismay and senseless beating oneself with the proverbial big stick. 

So how come the rest of us from the non-stupid tribe do it…?

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Because we have been taught to care?

Because we can empathise with others and understand their pain too? 

Because stupidity is not for us?

Because we’re of often taking ourselves too seriously?

Because we get emotionally invested in projects and struggle to let go easily?

Because we want to leave a legacy of integrity and something we can be proud of?

Because we want to connect the dots and not end up with a meaningless collection of dots.

Because we don’t want to be remembered for a bunch of stupid stuff we once did and is now forever immortalised in social media and subject to the recurring and relentless “On this day…” reminder.

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Fear is good. It means whatever you are about to do has risk, takes courage, will be challenging and painful. 

And TOTALLY worth it for the outcomes and subsequent impact.

DON’T BE STUPID

BE FEARFUL

THEN DO IT ANYWAY

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Coaching

Oh really. I do, do I?

Living a military life we get to change jobs every two years or so. And then everyone around us is also changing jobs every two years or so.

It’s not great for consistency, trust or relationship building.

Whilst the military relies on uniformity, it’s not a foolproof formula. We do get to sprinkle some of our own unique character here and there to some degree.

When it comes to managers, what’s a priority for one might be less so for another. And one style might have earned more respect and commitment from staff.

So when it comes to joining a new department, you might be replacing a highly effective and much loved key player.

And boy oh boy, are people keen to let you know just how big those shoes are. And I have been on both sides of that expectation, being the incoming and the outgoing manager.

It’s a tough place to be. Being judged before you’ve even started. And moreover, no one had even chosen for you to be there. People move around the military in a much more haphazard and random fashion. It’s mostly potluck where you end up. There’s no recruitment, interview or selection process.

So I can appreciate that existing staff might be anxious. Often they’ve had very little say in who they are getting and have no clue about you until the day you report for duty.

So this, “you have big shoes to fill” is sending a message. I get it. There’s a standard in existence and it warrants maintaining the culture.

But have you ever tried running or even walking in oversized shoes…? A face plant into the dirt is inevitable.

So, how might we send a different, more welcoming message?

What if we could bring our own shoes and see how we grow into them?

Maybe we could bring a selection of shoes and try them on for size?

Let people set their own bar and raise it accordingly?

Whether it’s a military or a civilian hierarchical organisation, we all know there is a dysfunctional system in place and we are required to work it. But there’s little to be proud of if we let that system rule our thinking too. After all, it’s just a system. We the people are the ones making the decisions and creating the human relationships.

Let’s not make it more painful to be on the back foot.

How might you set people on front foot first? Then adjust as we go.

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Coaching

Skills might be confused with outcomes or results.

Skills are infinite and with practice and patience you can continually get better at them.

Results are a snap shot – how successful something is at that moment in time.

Recently I heard someone say, “positivity and confidence are skills”.

I would assert those are outcomes. Because, whilst you can improve your positivity and confidence, it’s often a bi-product of accomplishment and mastery in a given skill.

Positivity and confidence can also be goals or aspirations, achieved by doing X, Y or Z – Taking a public speaking class, using a coach or enrolling in mindfulness sessions.

That’s the skill. Finding activities that stretch your abilities and learning and keep you in the zone of discomfort. Because if it’s not uncomfortable, it might need to be more challenging.

So then, how might it be less about finding positivity and confidence, and more about managing your emotions and resilience?

Some might argue that expressing your emotions is being authentic. I agree. We shouldn’t hide our emotions from loved ones and colleagues.

And then what happens when you are having a bad day, express your true authentic self and breakdown in front of a client who is expressing their own chaos and needs you to be the stronger one?

You might be a paramedic or a team leader. How might succumbing to your inner negativity affect your day and the progress of the tasks you have been given?

Being positive, even when you really don’t feel like it in a given moment, is about being a professional. Because someone is relying on you to be your best.

That’s authenticity I can get on board with.

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Coaching

The messy middle has become one of those things that once you see it, you un-see it. That means we know it’s coming, it will be managed one way or another and it will pass.

I have found that in making order in other places, the creative chaos has more space to lead the way. 

So, I have been clearing out the ideas vault and here are a few that I just couldn’t leave to decay on the cutting room floor.

Stand-by for brain-dump…

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Life – A game of precision guesswork based on unreliable data provided by those of questionable knowledge. 

Life is a gym membership with really complicated cancellation policy.

… not being there yet, but closer than you were yesterday.

… deciding to do what make you happy. 

Avoid negative people, they have a problem for every solution. 

Or are they a cynic worthy of your empathy, because as Ben Zander put it – “A cynic, after all, is a passionate person who does not want to be disappointed again.” 

Convenience is the kryptonite of quality 

The most efficient way… is not always the best way. 

One is too many and 1000 is never enough

Work the system and rewire your thinking. After all its just your version of reality – its not as true as you think it is.

Culture… what’s it like around here?

I have unpredictable and sporadic flurries of flow. 

Creativity doesn’t work 9-5.  

Would you ask Mozart why he put that note there and why that tempo in that section works? No. And he may not be able to explain it either. For him… he can just play. 

Turning a passion into a job… what are you compromising? 

What happens when you get skooled? You end up inspired and yet somewhat annoyed by your mentor. That’s Resistance! Feel it and acknowledge it, then go and do that thing you have been fearing.

Accidental diminisher:  I usually succumb to this when I’m caught off guard. Like in a general conversation if when I haven’t mentally prepared for the situation I’m walking into. So, going into a zoom call 1:1 – I know to keep to curious questions and listening. General convos – oh the solutions come rolling off the tongue 😛 and they get out before I can reel them back in. So I have to catch myself doing… or rather thinking, about a response. When I do that I have to switch to listening mode and ask a very broad and open question or a statement like “Tell me more.” 

Everything looks green when viewed through emerald tinted glasses. 

Rather unruly and insubordinate….. is how I feel most days.

Don’t just be the noun… do the verb.

Animal, vegetable, mineral… Blog, snog or frog… (God knows where I was going with that one!!!)

This is / is not.. the do over you’re looking for…

What are the intellectual pay offs?

Progress moves at the speed of trust. 

Eulogy virtues – living your life by virtue you wish to be remembered for. Meaningful and inspiring. Characteristics that describe the PERSON. Legacy in how you make people feel. Generosity. Who you are, how you show up and contribute. WHY.

Resume virtues – things you’re good at, superficially- stuff you’ve done. Commodities of the person. What you do, your job or label or function. WHAT’s.

Earning the way you wish to be remembered and how to measure?

See the world as a place to apply eulogy virtues, what does that success look like?

Can someone pay it forward? If yes, you’re in the land of eulogy virtues. 

An Insight Shared.  A Problem Halved.

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Ahhh, now all that Spring Clean has been cathartically published, I have a clean slate for the rest 2021.

Now its your turn to tell me…

What are some of your nuggets of wisdom? 

And please include the duds for fun.

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Coaching

When I was a kid I loved Star Trek and it’s a favourite that has continued into my adult life. One of my early memories was playing in the lounge and imagining I was on the bridge of the Starship Enterprise using my Mum’s wooden sideboard as the console to control information and take orders from Capt James T Kirk. I had a great time and was fully accepting that it would never really happen in real life. I knew it wasn’t real.

Then a couple of years ago, as I was stood at my desk doing my job, I realised – Holy crap! It came true!

I was standing on the bridge of the warship to which I had been assigned and steering the ship from the console in front of me.

OK, it wasn’t a starship. It was HMS ECHO, the sister ship of HMS ENTERPRISE, and part of the Royal Navy’s Survey Fleet. Exploring strange new seabeds and seeking out new samples and new aquatic cultures. Boldly going where many a sailor had gone before. (Namely, a bar called The Pub in Malta and were lucky to make it back on board and in our pit without breaking a leg on the way.)

Most dreams get lost in time or remain forgotten in our childhood past. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

It sounds so corny but if we stop dreaming, we stop imagining. And imagining is all part of possibility, innovation and creativity. How might you achieve your dreams?

It’s not all about you, it’s about the people who collide with your work and think it’s for them. You are doing them a service. Who might benefit from your work?

If your life up to now had purpose but that’s changed for some reason, what might you give a crap about now, if you went looking for it?

Try taking the best bits of your hero’s and create your own Frankenstein Unicorn. They started somewhere too. Who inspires you?

I’ll use a bit of Simon Sinek for his optimism and plain talking. Lady Gaga for her bravery in testing the edges. JK Rowling for her creative writing. Brené Brown for her accessible teachings. And Winston Churchill, who was far from perfect but I have to admire his decisiveness in a crisis. 

See the things they do and the skills they have, because you have them too. 

Because once you start to imagine the possibilities, you’ll start to find ways to make it happen. An idea gets under your skin and becomes part of your daily life.

And it will get easier if you stop resisting and let it.

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Coaching

“A Smooth Sea Never Made a Skilled Sailor”

Every veteran has a story that fascinates civvies because it’s so far removed from their own lives. 

Veterans also have a habit of secrecy.  Don’t tell, don’t share, fit in and be like everyone else.

To get to a place of creativity and expressing our unique voice is incredibly challenging. 

Unlearning the thinking that kept us safe for so long.

But Wow!!! When we do, its magical and compelling. 

The trap is to stay solely in the safety of the tribe we know and trust.  That has its place and will support us.

So, how might we need to break away and straddle both worlds?

Seeking mastery as a veteran and freedom as an individual…

To have something to give a crap about…

Finding our purpose and embarking on our mission…

With bravery and freedom as our new allies –

What story might you share with the world?

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Creative Talk is happening tomorrow and there’s still just enough time to register. We’ll discuss:

What is creativity?
How do I learn it?
What can I do with it?
How might I manage the fear?

We’d love to meet you and listen to your thoughts. Register here.

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Coaching

Generosity and curiosity might be the cornerstones of feedback.

Because it’s a skill to say what you see and learn to do it without being judgemental.

And to do that, it’s important to learn to see, really see, and be curious to dig deeper and more importantly – understand.

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Gather & Share: Creative Talk, is happening on Thursday 25th March at 2pm. Wanna find out just how creative you are? Join us and let’s just see.

Register here.

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Coaching

It’s taken a while to change my thinking. It’s not my fault it’s taken this long, I have been working in regimented and rigid environments for many years and it takes time to adapt from ideas I have become accustomed to and understand.

Here’s what I believe. I assert that Talent is an arbitrary and immeasurable metric created by some to prevent others from achieving their best.

It’s the infamous gatekeeper without a face. The qualitative and intangible wolf in sheep’s clothing. 

So, if growth and mastery is your goal, set talent to one side. How might skills lead the way for you?

Skills are not finite. They are a renewable resource at your disposal. And getting better at them will build resilience and confidence, courage and bravery.

All the stuff that needs to kick in when you are faced with an unknown and uncertain situation.

So the question is, are you training for what you know?

Or might your time be better-spent training for the unknown?

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And now Spring is here and there’s more inspiration in the air, it’s time for a Gathering.

Are you creative? Not sure?
Let’s find out together and see just how much scope there is for creativity.

• What is creativity?
• How do I learn it?
• What can I do with it?
• How might I manage the fear?

Uniformity is the key to success for many organisations and it plays havoc with our unique creativity. It suppresses it all the way down, right into your big toe. Join in and find answers to those questions as we share our experiences of finding the inner creative. Let’s encourage it to the surface and see where it might lead us.

Register here for the call and bring your creative self.

If you have been forwarded this by a friend, they thought of you and you can subscribe here.

Coaching

Is what you are doing working as you intended or expected?

Yes. Ok, feel free to give this one a miss and hit delete.

No?….

It’s ok, it happens to most of us. So let’s look for the learning opportunity.

Let’s assert the content, delivery and intension of your activities are good, have merit and serve towards a greater purpose.

How might you shift or adjust the people to which you are engaging?

Because the problem might be with your current audience. In that, your offerings are just not for them and they can easily ignore you.

And somewhere, on the edge of your perceived arc of vision, might be someone who is crying out to be seen and heard. You just haven’t noticed them yet because they intentionally fly under the radar because they fear disappointment and judgement.

So this time, rather than assuming their needs and have them align with your own agenda, how might you take some time to get to know those unseen faces and silence voices sheltering in the shadows?

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Coaching

Thinking on purpose.

Change happens – when we put it to work.

If you have been forwarded this by a friend, they thought of you and you can subscribe here.

Coaching