Evoenix:Edits

When was the last time you forgot to brush your teeth?

Ancient cultures aside, modern day dental hygiene wasn’t a regular habit in the western culture until 17th century and as with most things, was reserved for the wealthy. Then it became widespread after the Second World War.

If you want to learn about the history of teeth brushing, you can google yourself silly.

The point of this blog is to focus on the now and how a rather small and insignificant habit could change your life.

If I don’t brush my teeth, I don’t feel right. It’s like I’m not fully wake and ready for the day. And it doesn’t close off the day either. The ritual is firmly bedded in.

We’re told from a very young age… “brush your teeth, or the tooth fairy won’t visit when the next one falls out”

And yet…

We’re not conditioned to write everyday.

We’re not conditioned to practice gratitude everyday.

We’re not conditioned to develop leadership everyday.

These things only become important when we realise just how important and impactful they are. And we could do with being a bit better at them.

By that point, our day is already crammed full of daily life, work, scrolling, checking emails and catching up on the latest gripping miniseries.

Now we’re left with having to start a new habit, carve out the time and maintain momentum when all we really want to do it stop.

Now we have been given an interrupt. And sure, the world is upside down. Some things REALLY have stopped. And as the dust settles, it’s up to you how you wish to continue thereafter…

So, next time you refrain from doing something small and seemingly insignificant, remember: how horrid does it feel when you don’t brush your teeth?

And in weeks, months and even years to come, that thing which feels so impossible right now, you’ll look back and wonder how the hell you managed the day without it.

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Coaching

Because they can’t have live audiences, the presenters are keeping calm and carrying on.

But you can see, hear and feel the tension because it’s weird for them. Having a live studio audience has become the staple component for most live broadcasts and recording… until now.
And it’s got people on the back foot.

I think it’s brilliant how they are trying. Some are doing better than others and some are integrating the great tech we have to connect with remote presenters and guests.

But, it’s incredible to see how the lack of live audience has such an effect on the show overall. With no feedback and energy from an audience, the shows now lack a little finesse, they’re back to conscious incompetence. It all feels a bit clunky, people aren’t quite sure if it’s working. They are testing as they go because they don’t want to let the fans down.

They are professionals moving like amateurs.

And yet, when you think about it, this is how TV started. And having the audience live was a new thing once. It became the new normal. And now we’re back to the old normal.

No wonder historic TV clips appear so wooden!!!

And, given different circumstances, I do wonder how long the viewers would tolerate this awkward transition and change of direction. Had they not been forced to change tact so suddenly and we weren’t forced to remain at home.

In these changing times, how are you professionally showing up to bravely look like an amateur?
What new skills are you now having to learn?
How are you testing and adjusting in your new territory? Where are you getting the feedback from now?

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Coaching

I might assert we have become dependent on “productivity hacks” to get stuff done and this is now ever more important to get the REAL work done – the stuff that matters.

A friend said to me:

“It would have been nice if my parents had taught me some of those basic needs, like leadership skills. If they had gently prodded me to ingrain gratitude into my life.”

Our parents did, on the whole, do a good job. The world simply began to move too quickly and got ahead of us. Now we’re playing catch up…

Or are we?

How might we, instead of hacking, complete in the race at our own pace? Or equally, not sign up to race in the first place, deciding there are no winners or a finish line. Just taking part and contribution – in it for the long haul.

It’s interesting that we’re getting a sense of how destructive a virus can be – when it appears so suddenly and aggressively.

And yet, we’ve been subjected to a cultural virus for years and the changes have been so subtle we’ve let it get hold. Going viral has its merits, benefits and value. And it has unpredictable negative consequences.

I can only take comfort in the ability to, if I REALLY wanted, have a choice.

I am reminded of the lag between the invention of the wheel… and brakes.

The wheel 3000BC. Wooden block brakes – 1800.

How mad is that! Seems unthinkable… now.

What safety systems do you have in place to protect yourself?

How are you using your time? How much of it is in service to your dreams and desires?

How is that daily scroll or series binge providing a hiding place for you? What if you weren’t afraid, how might you behave?

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Coaching

Are you collecting or are you sharing?

Transmitting or receiving? 

You can decide. And you can do both. 

But probably not at the same time. 

So, what is your intention? 

And, is it right for that room? 

Because once you can get clear on that, you might find you’re using your time and effort more wisely. 

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Coaching

And the ability to recognise it, say hello and seek to understand it.

Having recently moved by grandma into my home because she has dementia and can’t take care of herself, it is starting to become a wonderful experience in understanding some else’s worldview and why they do what they do.

She doesn’t remember she has memory loss and here are a few pros:

She doesn’t remember how poorly she gets.
She doesn’t remember the embarrassment of need help all the time.
She doesn’t remember her limitations.
It’s a dementia filled haze of bliss.
To her, nothing has changed and no action required.

To us, everything has changed and much action is required. Action that isn’t always welcomed, acknowledged or gratified.

And it would be easy to slip into resentment mode, get annoyed, frustrated and stressed.

Then I remember:

She is living her version of reality, not mine.

Can you find someone who annoys you and take the brave step in seeking to understand their reality and how it differs from yours?

How did they create that reality?
How did you create yours?
What are the differences and where are the common threads?
What can you learn from each other?

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Coaching

Values are great and when applying them it would make sense to articulate it to your team by describing what that value looks like in action.  

For example:

Honesty

A great and necessary value to have and comes easily to most – it’s a bit of a given. And yet honesty means different things to different people. Some people’s honesty may be too much for others. They may be viewed as over critical or judgmental.  People can also use honesty to hide behind, “well, I was just being honest, I didn’t want to lie about what I thought about the report”.  

Greater significance would be to ask:

What do you do when you make a mistake?  Do you take responsibility and make changes to ensure it doesn’t happen again?  How do you react when others make mistakes?

Honesty is also surrounded by other values such as Trust and Respect. Which supports the need for further clarification on the behaviours you, as a leader, wish to encourage in your team. 

Trustworthy

Do to what exactly?  Count the money at the end of the day, check the stock or follow a process correctly.  

Or would it be more valuable to ask:

Can people come to you for help and you don’t tell everyone about it?  Do you say you’ll do one thing and then do the opposite?  Can you work autonomously?

Respectful  

How might that look? Do you offer feedback, even when it has not been requested?  When people do ask for your feedback, do you check what type of feedback they are seeking? Do you give the time to explain how you came to your conclusions?

Awards and rewards

Recognition for good behaviour can be demeaning and irrelevant – you are not a 5 year old. It is a finite-minded process because there are winners and losers over a given timeframe and this common practice can become unhealthy within a community.

Dan Pink did a fascinating video about Drive using carrots and sticks.

I agree, there is some validity in having a worthy rival and healthy competition.  But… focus that energy outside of your team.  

Look to your true competitors, not your accomplices.  

By encouraging the comparison of people’s behaviour, it can create an unsafe environment.  Sure, when someone acts outside of the law and company standards – that needs addressing.  

But, is it wise to use the rest of the time to pit people against each other, especially in all the good ways they show up?

If you have built a team effectively, the values take care of themselves.  You will naturally attract the “people like us that do things like this”.

Maybe we should start considering values as skills.

The Real Skills, the human skills that can’t be easily measured, monetised or automated. And we should celebrate how people translate those skills into what they do consistently every day.

What have your customers achieved because of your people? 

And if you are having to pick out the honest, trustworthy and respectful people, you may have bigger issues.

If you want to learn more about company values and rewards, they has been discussed at length by Simon Sinek in any of his 3 books, Marcus Buckingham in the 9 Lies About Work and Kristen Hadeed in Permission to Screw Up, describing how she founded Student Maid. 

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Coaching

Reflective Practice – Through Retrospective Technique.

What went well?

You can do that again.

What didn’t go so well?

You can change some of that.

What still puzzles me?

You can find that out.

What can I do differently?

You can test that.

Then…

Ask again, and again and again.

You wrote a book… write another.

You did a TEDx Talk… do 5 more.

You found your ideal client… find 10 more.

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Coaching

Or does Purpose find YOU?

Take elite athletes. Someone who is built like a brick outhouse is probably not going to be a good candidate for gymnastics. No matter how much dieting and training they do. Their frame, body composition and genetics are working against them.

However, they are ideal for powerlifting, boxing, hammer etc…

Their sport found them. Not the other way around.

Your Purpose could be much the same and it may be staring you in the face and you just can’t see it because you looking in a different direction.

Maybe you’re looking for something more shiny and more easily obtainable.

Or you could be unwilling to make a brave leap towards something you feel may not right for you.

But how do you know unless you throw yourself into it wholeheartedly?

And I mean WHOLE-HEARTED! Not a mere dalliance or cursory glance.

You might be surprised by the results and you could find the fulfilment you are longing for.

What idea are you dancing with, that is persistently loitering on the edges of your field of vision?

What magical being is lurking under the stairs in your house?

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Coaching

First Rule of Success Club – You can’t use any metrics, monetary values or statistics.

Think about, what it FEELS like.

If you could take a picture of your success – what would you be doing? What emotions come to mind?

If other people described your success – what would those people say? What impact might you have in their lives?

In the end… what will YOU be most proud of?

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Coaching

So, we’ve reflected on the past year, made our resolutions, set some goals for 2020 and created our vision boards…

Now what? 

Oh yes, the implementation part. The hard part of making a start and moving forward. 

Enter stage left – His Imposture’s Voice.

The worthy adversary to the main protagonist in the narrative of life.

All the self doubt, fear, and questioning personified in an imaginary character with expertise in strategic planning to avoid the unknown.

However, just because your imposture has made it to C-Suite level on your internal executive board, doesn’t mean they get the final vote.

Hello impostor. Nice to see you today. You sound worried and frustrated because all this is a bit new and scary. 

You know, you can’t know what you don’t know.

So let’s find out. Gradually, with small steps and tests.

We have friends who believe in us. And more importantly, I believe in us. It will be ok and we’ll take responsibility. We will learn something, then we’ll know something and then we are better today than we were yesterday.

Sure, it’s important to acknowledge what’s holding you back and maybe a more important question to ask is:

Why haven’t I let go yet?

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Coaching